a unique take on life from some unique women
Ok y’all, this is a mini rant post. I thank you in advance for listening.
Every morning before I get out of bed, I read Facebook. This is something I’ve been doing for years, and yes I am aware that I may have a problem. One day I’ll fix it, I swear, but in the meantime, scrolling through Facebook before I’ve even had the chance to properly wake up is my morning coffee.
SO. Wednesday morning while looking through my Facebook feed, I came across a surprising post. This girl isn’t really “a friend,” but she grew up with one of my best friends and I met her through friend osmosis. When I met her she’d been perfectly nice, and if she hadn’t moved away we’d probably be friends today. On Facebook, she’d written about how, even though she had gay friends that she loved, she would not support their struggle in regards to gay marriage because she’s Christian and it’s against her beliefs. Ok, I get that, I guess? I mean, this isn’t so much a morality question as it’s a constitutional right, but live your life? But then this girl went on to say that gay people were incapable of loving the same as hetero couples, and that their love was inferior to the love straight people have for each other. Uhhhhhh… whaaa? As of this posting, she had 20 likes and 11 comments in support of her post.
It has literally taken me a whole week to process this post. In between long work days, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills marathons (y’all better get into it!), endless friend plans, and sleep (very little sleep mind you. I mean, who needs sleep amirite?! God I wish I was asleep right now) this post has been at the back of my mind, showing its ugly little head whenever it had a chance. Today, I decided to look back at the post to see if anyone, ANYONE had spoken up and called this girl out. And someone did. A cousin of hers wrote a small and respectful response basically saying that he loved her, but he thought her views were misguided. He went on to say that even if you have a moral problem with gay marriage, you should still recognize that it is a right that every American should have. Smart answer right! In response to her cousin, the original poster responded with the words “I am totally being serious when I say this: I constantly pray for you. I ask the lord to lead you into his truth. Search for the truth”. Umm, I’m pretty sure your cousin has found the truth, and how dare you suppose your truth is the only truth that matters.
Look, I grew up Baptist. I’m talking about every other day of the week spent in church (choir rehearsal, bible study, senior fellowship, the whole shebang). And I still consider myself Christian, even though I don’t nearly go to church as much as I used to. I grew up with pastors telling me that if you were gay, you were going to hell. I grew up believing that being gay was something you could change about yourself, and if you didn’t choose to change it, well then you were screwed. I also knew a lot of gay men growing up, and even though I loved them and I treated them with the utmost respect, I still kind of saw them as “others”- people who were inferior to me because I was a straight Christian lady, thankyouverymuch.
I believed all of this up until I was 16. That was the year that I met my friend Chris at boarding school. That was the year he inadvertently changed my whole worldview and rocked my faith right side up. Chris was everything you could want out of a southern gentleman. He was handsome, with these piercing blue eyes that you would swear were looking right through you and into your soul. He was polite to his elders, and he had manners and confidence oozing out of him like maple syrup oozing out of a tree. He was as sharp as nails, witty, and one of the funniest, nicest people that I’d ever met. Real talk- Chris was the son every southerner wanted to have, except for one thing: Chris was Gay.
Chris was also a devout Catholic. Every day, at the crack of dawn, Chris would wake up, walk about a mile to the Catholic Church down the street, and he would attend mass. Every. Day. And I remember that on one nondescript day, as I saw Chris walking back from Church, it hit me. According to what I’d been told my whole life, this kid, this devout Catholic kid who would go to mass EVERYDAY, who still believed in God even though people were constantly telling him that God didn’t believe in him, was going to hell. And I remember thinking this and thinking “No, that can’t be right? There’s no way God would want him to go to Hell.” I, in my heart of hearts, do not think that God would send Chris to Hell, and if that’s the type of God people want me to worship, I’m not willing to do that. My God is compassionate. My God loves everyone. He wants everyone to do good and to also do good to others. Wasn’t that what was important during all of those Sunday school sessions??
Being in LA and having a massive, I mean MASSIVE, amount of liberal friends, it always catches me off guard when someone has a view that is so far different from mine. Even though it’s been a challenge, I try to surround myself with all types of people. One of my best friends is Agnostic. One of my other Best Friends attends Church every Sunday. The smartest and most thoughtful person I have ever met in my life was a Southern Atheist redhead. I have been absolutely blessed and honored to have known and been great friends with a myriad of Gay, Straight, Bi, and Transsexual people. My roommate from college, who is also Agnostic, once told me a story that has stuck with me years after I first heard it. The story is about a famous Athlete who dedicated his life to doing good, only to be told that he was going to hell because he was an Atheist. She told me that she refused to believe in a God who punishes good people. I agreed with her.
So, it boggles my mind that there are people out there who refuse to see the goodness in people, and instead lump them into a group that is automatically wrong. It just doesn’t make sense to me. And I personally don’t think that being gay is an affront to my religion. Even if gay marriage is something that you don’t agree with morally, can’t we all agree that it’s a constitutional right that all Americans deserve? I’m honestly not trying to argue that every Christian needs to be like me. You don’t even have to LIKE gay people (although, if you don’t, that’s another issue that we need to talk about at a later date) but I think we can all acknowledge that gay people are people first, and love is love no matter who you are. Can I get an AMEN!